"Thus I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight as if I were shadowboxing. No, I drive my body and train it, for fear that, after having preached to others, I myself should be disqualified." 1 Corinthians 9:26-27
"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." Mark 14:38
I have always felt a strong correlation between my physical health and my spiritual health, so the passages above are more like rallying cries. Spiritually and physically, I really feel the effects of Original Sin. When it comes down to anything that is healthy, for me at least, it is an uphill battle.
My Spirit wants to exercise at lunch, but my flesh wants to go eat Thai.
My Spirit wants to juice for breakfast, but my flesh wants a donut.
My Spirit wants to avoid bad habits, but my flesh cries out for them.
Praise God for His Mercy and Forgiveness and for Our Savior Jesus Christ to rescue us from our sins!!
Yesterday my Spirit scored a victory over my flesh whenever I finally got back out on the road for a run. I really love to run because it provides me with some of the best one-on-one time with the LORD that I've ever had. But yesterday was a bit different. Before I went out, I left a comment on my facebook account:
"Chad is: going for a run."
My reasoning is that if I put it on facebook, I can't back out! Virtual accountability as it were. So I get out there and start the run and immediately my flesh is staging a revolt! Knee pain, foot pain, leg pain, shortness of breath...and this is all in the first, no kidding, 50 yards of starting! As a matter of fact, in my head I was already composing my facebook comment for when I returned:
"Chad is: out of shape"
"Chad is: too fat to run"
"Chad is: not what I used to be"
But this is the one that really got me:
"Chad is: frustrated that my running efforts this year look more like 2008 than 2007"
2007 was a good year, and my goal this year was to match that. But LIFE happened in '08 and so far in '09 as well, and I didn't, and haven't, matched my goals I set for myself. So I was really ready to throw myself a great, big pity party right there on my run, but God just wouldn't let me. All I had to do was just stop feeling sorry for myself, and focus on the run and He took over. I began to remember how nice it was to pray while I ran. To think of things like the Sacrifice that Christ made for us all and how this little run is nothing compared to His walk to Calvary...uphill...with the Cross on His shoulders and thorns on His head, all so He could die for you and me. It really is profound, and again, it snaps one out of feeling sorry for oneself really quickly.
When I had to stop to walk for a little ways, I noticed a nice little flower in the grass and a thought occurred to me that God let me walk right now, just so I could see this pretty flower. He wanted me to see it, but why? The answer: to let me know that He is present with me right here and now. He literally wanted me to STOP AND SMELL THE FLOWERS!! So I plucked it up and tucked it in my watch band and there it remained for the duration of the run to serve as a reminder of His presence. The rest of the run just got better and better. My aches and pains went away as my body remembered that, "oh yeah, I remember this!" I focused less on myself and my thoughts turned heavenward and to those in need of prayer.
And once the run was over, I felt so good and was so happy that I ran at lunch instead of going out to eat. No food could provide the satisfaction that I was experiencing from that run. But like all things, tomorrow is a new day and the battle will begin anew, but:
"with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26
So, in the end, God turned my frustration into encouragement. He turned a bad run into great run, and He gave my physical AND spiritual health a nice little boost!
And I'll close with one of the many ponderances (is that a word?) from my runs. I've really had some profound thoughts occur to me on runs, only to forget them before I can write them down. But some stick with me...
God doesn't want my first mile when my legs are fresh and my breathing is easy. That first mile is completed with little reliance on Him. If you can give at little to no cost to yourself, have you given anything? No, He wants my last mile, when I am totally spent and have nothing left to give but my breath, my sweat, my pain. In that last mile, it is only because of Him that I keep going.