The picture may be blurry, but I just had to post it. I was so happy to be home. Walking through the door was like coming home to Heaven. The boys had made crafts for me, one of which was the American Flag hanging on the door with "Sweet Home USA" written underneath.
When people ask me how long I was gone, I'd say "a week and a half." But that doesn't do the absence justice! It's funny how my perception of time has always been. I've always looked at time in two ways: the overall and the in the moment. This trip for example, I look back now on the trip and it seems like it was just yesterday that I was getting on the plane to travel to Africa, yet here I am happily at home in the "blink of an eye." However, living each of those days that I was gone, it really makes me want to stress to everyone how long "a week and a half" is. (If you're wondering, it was 9.125 days, or 219 hours or 13,140 minutes.) In a way, I think this is a glimpse of what God sees in our lives. We see the moment that we are in, and we can reflect on the moment that just passed, or postulate about the moments to come. God, however, sees the entire trip from start to finish.
It was no mistake that I read A Severe Mercy while on this trip. One of Vanauken's themes throughout the book is time, or rather, the quest for the Timeless moments. Those moments that last forever, when you are unmolested by what's next or what appointment is pending, etc. Of course, this doesn't exist here on earth, but only in Eternity. It was interesting that he, and C.S. Lewis, used this yearning as a proof of an Eternal Afterlife. Our souls are not meant for this world, and as such, they long for Eternity.
Another interesting point of view I gained from this trip is how uncertainty, which is basically fear, can rob us of what God truly wants us to have. The ultimate gift that God wants us to have is Eternal Life with Him in Heaven. In order to possess that ultimate gift we have to pay the "ultimate price" of our lives. I love life, and to be quite honest, the thought of death is uneasy for me to say the least. There are lots of uncertainties with death and the afterlife. We have some promises that we can fall back on, but there is no "eye witness proof."
So, my trip to Africa represents my present take on death/dying. I did not want to do it. I dreaded leaving my family (death) and the long lines at the airport/long flights (Purgatory, no doubt). But once I arrived at my final destination (ok, I cannot, in truth, call Africa "Heaven"...sorry) It was OK. I was OK. I was pleasently surprised at how "normal" it was.
Conversely, my return trip home from Africa represents what I'm striving for as a Christian. I looked forward to it. I was leaving a place that I knew was not my home (death.) Yes, the lines and flights (Purgatory) would be long and taxing, but I knew what was waiting for me when I arrived at my final destination of home (Heaven.) Again, walking through the door that day was like entering the Pearly Gates of Heaven. I was greeted by my children and loving wife. The house was so warm and cozy. So welcoming. Candles flickered on the table and many more on the mantle. It was nothing short of heavenly. It was one of those "timeless" moments that I just wanted to freeze and remain there...after a shower, of course.
